We Weren’t Supposed to Know

We weren't supposed to know we were beautiful or sexy.

But we were told our collarbone should be covered,

That our elbows look like breasts,

That our hips shouldn't move,

That our smile could get us raped,

That our long hair was a glory for our future husband,

That our silhouette turned you on,

That even our "toe cleavage" shouldn't be seen,

That hourglass bodies are sinful and vulgar,

That our cape dresses were foolproof, because you, the men, designed them.

None of it was foolproof. And none of us escaped your ugly sexualization of women unscathed. You blame us when we are abused, harassed, and raped. Then you wonder why we leave your church.

It's easier outside your church. No one tells me that "the buttons on my clothes would make Jesus refuse to hang out with me." No one tells me that if I would just stop watching my abuser, maybe he'd stop being encouraged to abuse me. No one tells me I'm making it up when I say a man is staring at me. No one tells me I should go on a fast so it's easier to forgive the man who assaulted me. No one tells me my head covering will keep me protected from evil men. No one tells me to submit to men who aren't safe. No one tells me I'll go to hell for talking about my abuse. No pastors ask me to stop talking about the abuse that happens in their churches.

It's easier outside your church, because your church wasn't built for women.

It's easier outside your church, because it's safer and healthier on the outside.